Neidpath Tunnel

If you are feeling a bit constipated and prunes aren't your thing, then I can definitely recommend a visit to Neidpath Tunnel. Walking over 500m in pitch black nearly had me filling my breeches!

Let's go back an hour when my underpants were unspoilt and I was just looking to visit Neidpath Viaduct. I parked the car nearby and hugged the River Tweed along to the viaduct. Then I saw these two odd things on the map (circled purple).

As I was taking photos of the viaduct which is just within the left most circle, a chap emerged from further down this weird dead-end place with a huge smile on his face. As he approached me he asked "Have you been in the Neidpath Tunnel yet, it was amazing!"

Ah that's what those weird things were on the map - the entrance and exit to a tunnel. After such a glowing testimonial I headed a hundred metres along the path and the entrance of the tunnel came into view.

Feeling brave I promptly entered the tunnel and probably after about 10 metres in it was absolute pitch black and stoney silence. I stopped for a bit contemplating my life decisions, when a spooky gravely noise came from within the tunnel. It wasn't a proud moment, but I let out a little girly whelp which echoed throughout the tunnel and I ran back to the entrance and to daylight.

30 seconds later a young lad emerged from the gloom. He gave me a wry smile as he must have heard my little scream.

Donning my head torch and also turning the light on my phone I headed into the tunnel. Neither seemed to make a jot of difference and there was probably less than 5 metres of visibility.

It was so black that my big camera couldn't actually focus on anything to take a photo, so I just randomly snapped in the dark. My photos came out like the grainy footage of the poo man on TikTok who shoves his camera down the toilet pipes.

I had a little look behind me and the entrance fading away like a distant oasis marking the moment when I lost my sanity. As you head along the tunnel curves so for a decent duration you can neither see the entrance or exit. So I just settle into the unsettling dark and gloom.

About halfway through I spy a little archway leading off to a side tunnel and no matter how much I shine my light down there, it's still pitch black. I wouldn't even contemplate going down there, even if you offered me a lifetime supply of Easter eggs.

It feels like I have been walking ages and with every footstep I'm hearing weird noises and am sure that the visibility is getting worse. Every little noise or drip from the ceiling is hugely amplified so I'm having a jump scare every few metres.

There is obviously no connection down here either so I can't even make a call to get a soothing/encouraging message from my glamorous assistant who is sitting comfortably in the car. Then again she would probably tell me I was an idiot and laugh at my predicament. Last laugh is on her though as she washes my underpants.

But then, like a little beacon of hope I round a bend and spy a chink of light. The exit!

Glad to be nearing the end of this ordeal I fast-step it to the exit and to lovely daylight. I have a peep behind and snap a photo of the east entrance/exit.

That looks more creepy than the west entrance I went in. I also wonder what the chap who encouraged me to go in found so much joy in that. He did have his missus for company whereas I braved it on my own. I feel like I needed some sort of reward for that expedition, a bit like when you get a sticker at the dentist after a routine checkup.

Fortunately there was an alternate riverside walk to head back to the car, rather than having to retrace my steps, with fab views across the river to Neidpath Castle.

I'll leave you to read some fab facts about the Neidpath Tunnel while I head back to the car in the glorious daylight. Also here is the route from the parking if you need it.

It's just over 1km to get to the tunnel entrance and then another 550m painstaking steps to walk through it!